Square in the Face
by Child of a Pineapple
Summary: FINISHED Snowflakes lazily tumble down, covering the still form of the one person Raven's spent five years avoiding. Christmas BBRae. OneShot.


Random? Yes. Clichéd? Probably. This came to my mind and I wrote it a couple of weeks ago, and decided that I might as well post it, mostly because I've always wanted to write a holiday fic. I suppose this is romance…gosh, I hate romance, but you know how it is when you get an idea.

DISCLAIMER—If you recognize it, I don't own it. Otherwise, it's mine. Keep in mind, this story is in no way related to the plot lines of **Silver Wing** or **Porphyria**.

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**Square in the Face**

Snowflakes twirled lazily down form the gray sky, adding to the layer of gray-white lining Jump City's desolate streets. Unlike on the gingerbread storefronts downtown, there was no Christmas music to fill the silence. The snow was runny and dirty, and filled the streets. The residents weren't exactly keen on donating to the less fortunate, being far from wealthy themselves, so no Salvation Army Santa's stood on the street corners. Nobody on this side of town really cared that the holidays were only three days away.

Raven would be lying if she ever said that she expected life to lead her here. At twenty-three, she had spent the last five years running away from a live, and a person, that she'd been afraid to accept—and now she spent every day doubting that choice.

A little over five years before, the Teen Titans had split up and ventured off, each in search of their own lives. Despite promises to keep in touch, Raven hadn't heard from them since. She'd spoken to Beast Boy last, and that conversation had imprinted itself forever in her mind.

"_What is it, Beast Boy?" she asked, surprised and concerned all at once._

"_It's just…I was wondering…" he trailed off, ready to loose his nerve._

"_Yes?"_

"_I was thinking," he started again, "that you could…come with me."_

_Raven fell silent. No matter what she really wanted to say, there was no way she could find the words to fit. Suddenly she lost the courage to look Beast Boy in the eyes, and her gaze fell to the ground._

_Her silence was answer enough, and Beast Boy stepped back. "I'm sorry," he murmured, turning away. "It was a stupid question."_

Since that moment, Raven had been on her own. The first night she rented a room, one of the few in town that wasn't within the view of the ever watchful, if abandoned, tower. After that, it was just one excuse after another not to leave. Soon she had a job at a seedy restaurant, and a year had passed. Then she wound up with addicts for friends, and with Devon.

Raven didn't stay with Devon because he was smooth, or because he had a knack for making girls feel pretty, or even because he was handsome. It was his eyes that caught her attention, his green eyes that reminded her of someone she'd been trying so hard to forget.

Although she spent her free time with Devon and his doped-up friends, she never adopted any of their habits. Instead, life had another surprise in store for her. Of course, Devon was gone the second Raven told him about the baby, and he took his friends with him. Raven didn't count either as a loss.

Determined to set her life on a better track, Raven pooled all of the money she'd brought when she left the Titans with the spare cash from her crummy waitress paycheck, and found a small apartment. The windows only looked out on to other buildings, but as long as she was still hidden from the Tower and its reminders of her old life, Raven didn't mind. She had lived there with her now three-year-old ever since.

At the moment, Raven was cursing to herself, because Antonio had needed her help closing, and she would be home half an hour late. The babysitter would be worried that Raven had been attacked on her way home, and Kat would be cranky. _And_ the persistent snow was falling even more thickly now, which would make getting to work tomorrow even worse.

It was while she passed the shadowy entrance to a back alley that something caught her eye. _Just keep going_, she reminded herself. It was probably just another bum…or something worse.

But some part of her was unwilling to dismiss this strange object so quickly. Somehow, this desire won out over her logic, and she found herself backtracking to investigate whoever, or whatever, she had seen.

It was a person, slumped against the back wall of a tattoo parlor and half-covered in snow. And unless there'd been an influx of green hoboes, this person wasn't one of the local bums.

Raven hurriedly brushed the snow away from Beast Boy's still familiar face. He wasn't moving, and Raven had to feel for a pulse to reassure herself that he was only unconscious. Beside the fact that he'd been sitting in the snow for God knows how long, he'd obviously taken a beating. From a gash on his forehead, blue-black bruises covering nearly every visible part of his body, and an oozing stab wound on his side, Beast Boy had all the signs of foul play. As she gently touched the knife wound, his face contorted in pain—he was at least semi-conscious.

"Beast Boy," Raven whispered urgently, shaking his shoulders. A low groan escaped his lips, but nothing else.

Raven scanned the streets behind her and sighed. They were mostly empty, but that did little to ease the fear of what she was about to do. She strictly avoided using her powers, afraid to be spotted, but there was no other way to get Beast Boy back to her apartment safely.

Well, she couldn't just leave him here in the snow. Hoping that years without practice wouldn't affect her ability, Raven pulled Beast Boy close, and they vanished in a cloud of blackness. A moment later, they were crouched in the shadows near Raven's apartment. She checked to make sure the coast was clear, then stood, draping one of Beast Boy's arms over her shoulder. He murmured a little as he was lifted, but didn't wake. Raven hurried inside as quickly as she could, thankful that she lived on the first floor as she wasn't sure she could haul Beast Boy up the stairs.

Outside of door four, Raven pulled off a tricky maneuver, letting Beast Boy lean against her as she fished through her pockets for her key. It might have been easier to knock, but she had forbidden Rachel, the babysitter, from answering the door.

For a moment after the door swung open, there was chaos. Rachel gasped and dropped the dish she had been washing, and the dog went crazy, barking like a madman at Beast Boy, who he obviously thought was an intruder. To top it off, Raven's daughter, Kathryn, was determinedly trying to watch television, and turned the volume up to cover the din. Beside Raven, Beast Boy began to stir.

"Quiet!" Raven shouted, eyes glowing momentarily. "Rachel, turn off the television and put Kat in her room! And do something with the dog!"

Rachel hurried from the kitchen and did as she was told, simultaneously carrying a protesting Kathryn and dragging a crazed dog to bedroom, pausing only long enough to switch off the television.

In the welcome silence that followed, Raven was able to lay Beast Boy out on the couch, and did her best to pull off his torn and bloodied brown jacket, then his shirt, both of which she quickly discarded. She regretted this a moment afterward, for he was shivering uncontrollably, but he had injuries to tend to. She was just scanning his bruised and bleeding form for any wounds she might have missed when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Uhm…" Rachel was standing nervously a few feet away, peering at Beast Boy's still form. "Raven, is everything…okay? Should I call someone?"

"No," Raven responded quickly. "No, everything's fine."

"He's one of those Titans, isn't he?" Rachel whispered. "The one's who used to live in that tower."

Raven hesitated before responding. "Yes."

"And you're one of them, too." It wasn't a question.

There was an even longer pause before, "Yes, I was."

Rachel didn't seem surprised by the admission. "Will he be alright?"

"He'll be fine," Raven assured her, "but don't tell _anyone_ that he's here."

"I won't," the girl promised. Seeing this as an ideal time to end the conversation, Raven reached into her pocket and pulled from her pay the money she owned Rachel—the babysitter thanked her and left hurriedly.

No longer distracted, Raven returned her full attention to Beast Boy's wounds. Healing was another aspect of her old life she'd mostly neglected, save the occasional bump or scrape Kat ended up with after rough housing with the dog.

There wasn't much to her to do—the knife wound thankfully wasn't too serious, and she healed it without any trouble. The gash on his forehead, probably from blunt force, was a quick fix, too, and he didn't seem to have any broken bones. He'd be sore when he woke, but otherwise fine. Raven pulled a few blankets from the basket under the end table, and spread them all out over Beast Boy's still form.

The strangeness of the situation chose that moment to fully sink it, and Raven had to pause and simply stare at her old friend. Why he was back in Jump, she had no idea, but someone hadn't welcomed the thought. And judging by the way Raven had almost passed him up herself, Beast Boy probably wouldn't have survived the night.

Raven pushed these grim thoughts out her mind and brushed past a Christmas tree to enter the kitchen, careful to avoid the broken plate. Without thinking, she levitated the shattered pieces into the trash can, afterwards vaguely wondering why she didn't always clean that way. She took another peek at Beast Boy, still unmoving on the couch, and made herself a much-needed cup of herbal tea.

As she stood watching his still form and sipping her tea, Raven took a moment to wonder why she had said no…or at least not said yes. In retrospect, it was easy to claim that she had been afraid of the unknown, but now, watching him slumber, she found that to be a pointless excuse. It was her own feelings that she had feared, and accepting them, and all the truths that she didn't want to admit.

Leaving her mug in the sink, Raven returned to the living room and sat on the recliner to wait. Incidentally, a clever three year old had left the remote in the seat, and unfortunately, no one had turned the volume down after Kathryn had maxed it. Beast Boy shot awake at the relative sound explosion that followed.

Raven took the time to turn down the volume before switching off the television, all before approaching Beast Boy. His eyes stayed locked on hers as she cautiously took a seat on the coffee table.

"Raven?" Beast Boy asked, bewildered. "What's going on? Where are we?"

"My apartment," Raven answered. "I found you in an alley a few blocks away."

"Wait…you're still living in Jump? On this side of town, even? Why?"

"I never left," Raven explained, looking down. "Some things happened, and I just made up excuses to stay." Although she'd known that to be true for some time, it felt good to confess to someone else. "The real question is, what are you doing here?"

"I sort of came her on business," Gar explained quietly.

Raven caught his gaze, frowning. "What kind of business brought you down here?"

"Not what you think. I'm only in this part of the city because I heard rumors about you." He paused, and gave her a long, serious stare. "I didn't want to believe it," he confessed, "but I guess it's true."

"You don't have to worry about me," Raven assured him, "I can look after myself." She paused, suddenly uncomfortable. "Who exactly did you here rumors from?"

"A drug dealer we caught a couple of days ago," he said with a shrug. "I think his name was Devon something."

Raven bit her lip. "I take it he didn't have any nice things to say about me."

"Not really," Beast Boy admitted. "After he was caught, he mentioned something about dating a girl with powers—said she could blow stuff up with her mind when she got mad. I came here to investigate, and ran into a couple of his friends. They're the ones--"

"That beat you up?" Raven finished for him. "I wouldn't put it past them. At least you're alright now."

"Yeah. And thanks for that." He smiled, but suddenly blurted, "You were _with _that guy?"

"For a little while," Raven confessed grimly. "But I swear I never did anything too stupid."

"So, you're okay now, right?" Beast Boy asked earnestly. "You never got into bad stuff?"

"I had more important things on my mind," Raven explained.

"Like what?" Beast Boy asked, puzzled. A second later a look of shock spread across his features.

Before she could ask what the problem was, Raven heard a sound behind her. Kathryn always knew when someone was talking about her, and tonight wasn't an exception. Her long, black hair hung down, just brushing the sleeves of her pajama shirt. Her eyes and face were identical to her mother's, but she hadn't inherited her strange complexion. She stood still, clutching a ragged mermaid doll to her chest. Her violet eyes stared deep into Beast Boy's green ones.

"This is my daughter, Kathryn," Raven said quickly, breaking the silence. "Kat, this is my friend Beast Boy. I've told you about him."

Kathryn nodded, but didn't break the gaze. She stated that way for a moment, staring deep into Beast Boy's eyes. Suddenly she relaxed, and her mouth split into a wide smile.

"Mommy missed you," Kathryn told Beast Boy, still holding her doll. Raven blushed.

"I missed her, too," Beast Boy said quietly, and Raven looked up and gave him a small smile.

Kathryn bit her lip. "Don't go away again."

Beast Boy looked slightly taken aback, but quickly recovered. "I won't."

Kathryn nodded in acceptance. "Did Mommy make you better?" she asked next.

"Yep. I'm as good as new."

"Good job, Mommy." Kathryn flashed her mother another bright smile.

"Thank you. But now it's time for little girls to go the bed." Kathryn scowled, but consented. Raven led her back to her room and tucked her in, pausing only long enough to pet the dog, curled up on Kathryn's floor. By the time she made it back to the living room, Beast Boy was sitting cross-legged on the couch, with all four blankets pulled tightly around him. Raven clicked her tongue and sat beside him, pressing a hand to his cheek.

"God, you're freezing," she muttered, standing up and heading for the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink? I know I've got hot chocolate in here somewhere…"

"That's fine," Beast Boy called, teeth chattering.

She nodded and set water to boil, then rummaged through the cabinets for soup. "You didn't come all the way to Jump just to find Devon, did you?" she asked, triumphantly unearthing a can of vegetarian vegetable.

"No," Beast Boy confessed, "I'm here with Cyborg and Starfire." Almost as an afterthought he added, "And they're probably freaking out right now…"

Raven had been reaching for a pot, but his statement froze her hand in midair. "Cyborg and Starfire are here, too?" she asked in surprise.

"Yep."

"And Robin?"

"Haven't you heard?" Beast Boy sounded surprised. "He's Nightwing now. We asked him to come, too, but he wasn't interested.

"Oh." Raven pulled the pot off the rack and set it on the stove. "Where are you guys staying?"

"The tower," Beast Boy answered. "We're sort of…reforming the team."

Another quiet, "Oh."

"Cyborg's trying to bring in some more kids," Beast Boy explained. "We've gotten word of some promising ones. You should come, too. I mean, I know you've got other commitments and all, but the newbies could learn a think or two from you. And Kathryn's pretty adorable."

Raven paused. As much as the idea delighted her, it also forced her to stop and think. She'd been running from her old life, from Beast Boy, for years. This life was her means of burying all those pent-up feelings.

It was fitting, really, that after so long hiding in shadow she'd found a path back home waiting in the darkness.

Beast Boy had apparently mistaken her silence, and was looking down dejectedly. He pulled the communicator from his pocket.

"I better call Cyborg," he mumbled.

With a start, Raven realized that she was reliving the exact moment that she'd spent the past five years regretting. Now was her chance to set things right.

"Fifteen minutes," Raven said suddenly, abandoning her attempts at dinner.

Beast Boy looked up in surprise. "What?"

"To pack," Raven said simply. A grin crossed Beast Boy's face as he realized what Raven meant. Kathryn, who'd been listening through her bedroom door, absentmindedly petting the dog, smiled as well. She felt under her bed and pulled out the bag she'd packed that morning.

For the first time in a while, Raven felt like her life was headed in the right direction. Every once in a while, life has to hit you square in the face before you could see things straight.

**END**

**12/4/05**

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Well, there we have it. Sure, I injured Beast Boy, as usual, but hey, I've done worse to the guy. And it was sort of a romance, so that at least makes my sister happy. 

Now I'm off to work on chapter five of **Porphyria** and to maybe start on a one-shot that has a Kid Flash and Raven pairing. That happens to be my personal favorite pairing, but not to a shipper extent. I just feel obliged after the pairing in "Lightspeed," an awesome episode with an evil pairing.

Thanks for reading, and please review!

**Child of a Pineapple**


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